It’s been 2 years since my accident and operation and I think I’ve developed a General Anxiety Disorder. (Self diagnosed, not yet clinically proven!)
(Oh the woes of having an over active mind! That, or I just need to get out more often and exercise, hehe.)
After being hospitalised for two weeks, two years ago, and realising that I’m not as invincible as I thought I was when I was much younger, I now worry a lot (like A LOT) about my health.
I think I have developed this fear of being hospitalised again. My experience 2 years ago is haunting me until now, and its a very hard memory to let go. I have so much more that I want to do in this lifetime, and I’m scared shitless that I won’t be able to do and experience them.
(Feels just like yesterday…)
I never, EVER want to be incapacitated again.
I guess it’s these thoughts that are causing my panic attacks. I’ve become very sensitive with my bodily sensations and a small pain here or there can cause my brain to go on overload and start thinking the most outrageous things.
Heart attack, cancer, stroke, you name it, I’ve thought of it!
(Then comes the thoughts of being hospitalized again, with the tests, etc… BOOM! Panic attack!)
I know, right, I sound crazy, but unless you’ve had a panic attack, you won’t really understand the fear.
One advice for those who live with people who experience panic attacks: Never, ever tell someone who is having a panic attack that it is ALL in their head.
The fear is real.
So what’s with this post? Oh, I don’t know.
I guess it’s because I had another very bad panic attack today while I was home alone and I had to call up my sister to keep me company until I calmed down. (Thank goodness she wasn’t doing anything and she lives just 5 minutes away.)
After she went home, I started Googling about Panic Attacks. Again. Augh. (Why do I keep doing this to myself, haha)
(I swear, the internet and the limitless information are contributing to my paranoid behaviour, haha!)
I’ve discovered some videos that I found really helpful and I would like to share it to those who experience frequent panic attacks.
For those who simply want to be informed about panic attacks and anxiety disorders, please go ahead and watch these videos, too.
I’m going to face this ordeal head on, so don’t be surprised if I keep posting about panic attacks. I find blogging very therapeutic and it’s nice to find out that there are people out there who can relate and share their experiences, too.
(I don’t feel as crazy as some people think I am, haha!)
Join me in my journey, and wish me luck guys!